


Zugzwang

by Kechk



Category: Korean Drama, 쓸쓸하고 찬란하神 - 도깨비 | Goblin (TV)
Genre: Families of Choice, Fate, Gen, M/M, Self-Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 09:14:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9714794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kechk/pseuds/Kechk
Summary: Eun Tak moved in because she was the Goblin’s bride. She expected a grand divine scheme she had some part to play. Instead, she finds her wish for family granted.Eun Tak is forced to make a decision.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I have been thinking about the congratulatory cake scene between Shin, Yeo, Deok Hwa and Eun Tak for sometime. Just wanted to explore the bickering duo taking care of Eun Tak like the parents she hasn't had for so long. Cue a dysfunctional family of three men, one girl and her cool big sis.
> 
> So this is a twist on canon. Eun Tak tells Shin she can see the blade early on and stays at the mansion earlier. Shin doesn’t know what to do. Stuff happens. Kind of narrated in Eun Tak's perspective.
> 
> I will come round to edit this, because I really do hope it's showing eun tak in a new light? Idk justice to her character's will? (I hope lol idk i don't want my shipper heart to muddle her character moment)
> 
> Warning: some bullying and cussing. 
> 
> Hope you like it!

Sprawled on top of Kim Shin's bed, billions of thoughts were buzzing through her skull. Was she the goblin bride? The princess in a fairytale? Fated lover to the being that was also indirectly responsible for her existence?

That just made it weird.

Finding out about such a prophecy from a drunk man’s lips after she had blown out a candle by the sea. She had wished for a friend, a family. This “Kim Shin”, a goblin, claimed that, because she could see the sword in his chest, she was his bride. She thought it was bogus really, how did god know how to matchmake? She was an optimist but even she needed convincing if someone pointed a man at her and yelled “Marry him!”. She wouldn't want to be with someone just because of some supernatural title.

Fortunately, the goblin was just as irked at the concept. Opting instead to offer her a better place to stay having seen the state of her house when she once had to blow out a fire in the kitchen.

She had been surprised to see the reaper at his home. He was terrifying and confusing, saying he was on her side, whatever that meant. She remembers the terrifying night when she blew out a candle to accept the goblin’s offer to stay somewhere, meeting the reaper instead of the goblin, threatening to kill her. Then the goblin had come save her by arguing with the reaper. They seemed like they hated each other but they were actually living together? They had even discussed things about the room furnishing, the extra utensils needed, the amount of food required and the expenses of her lodging there.

It sounded like she had dodged a bullet in becoming the bride when she found them acting like a married couple. They were likely boyfriends. She was reminded of her neighbours in her childhood home, how the couple always fought but they were sweet to each other when they thought no one was looking. They took care of her when her mom was away at work.

Eyes drooping, she hoped they were together, it was nice to have someone squabble about her living arrangements and well-being for once. Maybe she would ask in the morning. 

* * *

 

It had been the spur of the moment really, she was worn out by her aunt and cousins, desperate for some reprieve from the miserable thing she called her life. Thus, she had taken the Goblin's offer to stay over by condition of removing the sword.

Waking up to the delicious smell of sizzling bacon, sunny side up eggs, salted anchovies and kimchi was a nice surprise.

“Are you two making breakfast? I haven't had breakfast made for me in a long time!”

She hopped towards the two men, one was slicing up fruit, the other cracking eggs onto a pan. The sight of them making breakfast made her heart clench slightly, she missed her mother. Even having a happy day away from her aunt, her cousins, her classmates and teachers wouldn't let her forget the fact her mother was gone. She missed the simple meals her mom would prepare despite her severe inability to cook.

She inhaled, she would have to suck it up and treasure all the good moments that came to her in the present, work hard to get out this rut she was in. Even if working hard didn't entitle her to anything nor necessarily bring about results, she would persevere.

“Scoop out the rice from the rice cooker. There are bowls in the lower left cabinet by the sink. Cutleries are in the drawer above it.” The reaper intoned whilst plating some apples and setting it on the table with the rest of the dishes.

“Okay!”

“There's some fruit juice in the fridge, help yourself.” Shin scooped up the eggs with a spatula.

“Those aren't yours to give.” The reaper hissed in his direction before waving the refrigerator open and bringing a carton of orange juice onto the table.

“Woah, you have telekinesis?”

“Yes.” The reaper smothered his grin quickly but Eun Tak caught sight of it. With a wave of his hands the carton was pouring juice into an empty glass, settling down in front of her.

“Show off.” The goblin grumbled, levitating the plates of bacon and eggs to the table before taking a seat on the far end opposite of the reaper.

“You can do it too?” She was used to ghosts and their strange personalities, not magic.

The reaper huffed, as if she wasn't worth a proper reply before digging in. Breakfast was a quiet and awkward affair but Eun Tak felt warm throughout the day.

* * *

 

“Where are you going?”

“To school, silly mister.” She laughed as she put on her school shoes, backpack in tow.

“You idiot, she’s human. She has school to go to. Take her there if need be. I need to go to work.” The reaper put on his fedora before stepping past Eun Tak and disappearing into thin air.

“Woah, can you do that Mr Goblin?”

“Come on.”

That day Eun Tak discovered portals and the convenience it brought. She thought of the times her mother would walk her to school whenever she could spare the time.

* * *

 

“Why is there so much to hang up when there’s only three of us here?” She had self-assigned the house chores to herself, not wanting to botch her chance of staying there.

Heaving the huge basket load of clean laundry she made her way towards the drying area. Only to bump into the reaper by accident and have everything falling onto the floor. He flinched backwards as if she had some disease. Eyes bulging, hands clasped to his chest and shoulders hunched he yelled at her.

“You- You touched me!”

“Sorry, it was just heavy!” She dipped her head in apology, hiding her amusement and confusion at the reaper’s slack jawed expression. She bent to pick up the clothes on the floor to find him helping her with it.

“Thank you. Why were you so shocked about me bumping into you anyway? It wasn’t too big a deal was it? You aren’t, what’s it- Haphephobic are you?”

The reaper scrunched his nose, as if debating with himself whether the information was sensitive.

“Oh, sorry. Was that a sensitive topic?” Eun Tak flustered, she had just asked one of the men who had agreed to take her in and known for only a handful of days whether they had a phobia of touch. She scolded herself internally, she would have to have more tact!  
“I see people’s past life when I touch them.”

“Really? So you like see how they lived?” She was still under two decades old though. Her curiosity was boundless.

“And died. Yes.”

That sounded like a terrible ability. “What did you see in mine?”

“Nothing.” He blinked, as if it was some unbelievable anomaly.

“Nothing? How can there be nothing?” She pouted her lips.

“You’re the missing soul, you weren’t meant to exist. Maybe that makes you immune to supernatural being’s abilities. Like how you can see me even when I put on my hat.”

“Ah, that makes sense.” She moved to continue carrying the basket to the drying area when the reaper offered to help with hanging them up. Eun Tak filled the awkward silence with stories about Shin’s portals and how he bragged about them. The reaper seemed like a keen listener as he passed her more hangers. 

* * *

“Hey, ghost girl. Who’s the old dude you’ve been meeting lately? You pregnant?” The bullies had caught her off guard at a small street, it had been a mistake to wander towards the nearby bookshop whilst waiting for Mr Kim.

“Leave me alone.”

“Oh, you are, aren’t you? Going around and fucking rich, old men like a whore.” They shoved her back, hard enough for her to fall on her back.

“What do you kids think you’re doing?” The goblin had marched towards them, anger radiating off of him in waves. Sensing trouble, the group of bullies ran off.

“Are you alright?” The goblin helped her up, checking for bruises and scrapes. He breathed a sigh a relief when he found none. Some of her stationery had broken from the impact. “Let’s go home.”

Eun Tak could only think about a father she never knew except through the stories her mother would tell. Her father used to be the guardian of kids prone to bully, a traffic officer with a kind heart for the underdogs. The next morning, she found some cash on the dining table, a letter explaining that she should use it to replace her broken pencils and pens.

* * *

She knew the goblin was stumped about the fact she could see his sword. What she didn’t understand was why he didn’t just ask her to do it. Not that she would, she didn’t want to remove the reason he offered a better place to stay instead.

He knew though, how her clothes hid the bruises still healing from her aunt’s last fit of fury. She wasn’t one to accept charity often, rarely ever received it actually. She believed in putting her two feet on the ground and standing on her own. It was still nice though, to have a few people care about her in little ways.

Now, every morning there was someone to send her to school and back. It was sometimes by car or by teleportation. It was useful on rainy days and escaping bullies.

* * *

 

“Here.”

The reaper had set down a lunchbox in front of her without a glance. Soundlessly, he trudged towards the fridge and opened its door.

“It’s a lunch box.” He deadpanned.

Before Eun Tak could bombard him with more questions, he continued.

“You’ll find a lunch box in the fridge everyday in this compartment. You can reheat them in the cafeteria at lunch. It’ll alternate between meals with meat prepared by the goblin and vegetarian ones prepared by myself. Remember to take it.” He turned quickly, disappearing through the mansion doors before Eun Tak could utter a single syllable.

How did he know? That she starved herself through lunch time because of empty pockets, lasting through the day with only a generous helping of breakfast.

After sometime, she found her lunchboxes becoming more balanced, with both meat and vegetables to go with rice.

* * *

She had decided to go grocery shopping with her two male housemates one day. Her room was still yet to be completed so they had been forced to bunk together in the reaper’s room for sometime. She giggled to herself, they weren’t together officially yet they sort of were. When she had asked, the both of them had flustered red, sputtering incomprehensible words of denial.

“Let’s get some snacks!”

“Get this one, I’ve tried it. It’s good with salsa.” The goblin and his ‘bride’ had begun filling the cart with all sorts of processed foods.

“Put those back, the saturated fats will increase the chances for heart disease.”

They grudgingly put back the chips and fries they had previously happily thrown into the cart. When the reaper was distracted by the discounts for fresh broccoli, Shin secretly put back a bag of chips, hiding it underneath the other groceries. He grinned at Eun Tak, giving her a wink, it was their shared secret at the cashier.

That night the three of them watched B grade movies with chips and salsa. The reaper had made the salsa with fresh tomatoes and herbs, scolding the two of them prior to that.

* * *

On the day they unveiled her newly furnished room, the duo were childishly eager to explain their choices, almost vibrating from pride.

“This is a painting from the impressionist artist Monet. The flowers match your pastel wallpaper.”

“I picked out the modern minimalist styled furniture. They suit the room’s intricate decor.”

Eun Tak dashed into the middle of the room, spinning as she admired it all. She collapsed into her bed in a fit of laughter, waving her limbs as if she were lying in a bed of snow making snow angels.

“I love it!”

“Of course you do. I’m good at things like this.” Shin sneered. The reaper gave him a scathing glare before jabbing him in the ribs with his elbow. His scowl told her ‘I was a part of this too! Don’t you dare take all the credit!’

Eun Tak didn’t know if glares could send messages between supernatural beings but she had bounded towards them, wrapping both of them in a tight and awkward hug.

“Thank you! Thank you so much!”

* * *

She decided she wanted to repay the both of them somehow. She had a small amount she saved from having lunch prepared by the two males of the household.

The next day she ran about the house, snapping all sorts of candid photos of them and herself.

There was one where the goblin was sneakily leaving all the dirty dishes in the sink. Another with the reaper washing them with bright yellow gloves, face dark with anger.

It was amusing, the collection of photos. She bought a cheap scrapbook from the bookstore, planning to save up some more to print out her photos in the future. Smiling, she reminisced about her own photo album with her mother, the one she kept in good condition in her new desk drawer.

* * *

 

When she first met Deok Hwa, he had been of little interest, simply one of the many people in Shin’s corporate life.

That was until he told her that he needed her help in cheering up both his uncle and uncle tenant.

“They just seem so down these days you know? When you’re around the seem to flit around like first time parents but when either one of them are all alone in the mansion the weather’s chaotic and the house is freezing!”

“Are they having relationship issues?”

“What? They’re dating? Aren’t you supposed to be the goblin’s bride?”

She had given him a glare that shut him up immediately. She certainly didn’t feel like it, a goblin’s bride. She felt like the kid in her new dysfunctional family.

* * *

 

One late night, she had tip-toed out of her room to study in the kitchen. It was dark but she could here the goblin and grim reaper whispering in the kitchen, albeit with harsh tones.

“What happened to wanting me to be gone? Explain yourself!”

“What about you? You were so eager to die before!”

“That was before! Before I- I-” The goblin stuttered. In the pause, their lungs were heaving, panting breaths penetrating the silence. Eun Tak hid behind the wall, peeling her ears.

“Quiet you idiot, you’ll wake up the Missing Soul.”

“So you still do want me gone don’t you?” Eun Tak cringed, whatever was going on it didn’t sound good. She could hear the sneer in the goblin’s words. What did they mean?

“I don’t want you to die.” The awkward silence returned, the tension in the room reaching it’s peak.

“Wha-” Mr Kim was slack jawed, frozen from shock. The goblin pulled a chair noisily before flopping down onto it clumsily. The reaper followed suit with more care and quiet on the opposite end of the table.

“There’s nothing profound to it. It’d just be boring here if you left. I suppose I’ve become fond of the Missing Soul as well.”

There was only the deafening silence.

“At least she helps with the house chores, unlike you.”

Shin had exploded into a fit of broken laughter, slapping one hand on the table whilst the other cradled his stomach. The reaper had a sheepish smile on his lips.

“Whatever. I’m going to bed. I can’t deal with this right now.” Shin stood abruptly, shoving the chair back, making a dash for his room.

“May you have dreams of horse and chicken blood.”

“You too.”

Eun Tak had doodled in her exercise book that night, it was three stick figures. One with a black fedora and the other with a sword. In between was herself in her signature red scarf, joining their hands. It looked akin to the stereotypical drawings preschoolers drew when asked to draw their family.

Even so, she couldn’t help but feel like her presence was a premonition for tragedy.

* * *

Sometimes, when she had trouble sleeping, she would sit in the gardens and stare at the polluted night sky where only airplanes and their tiny lights pierced the darkness.

The blankets the reaper had passed to her would keep her warm through the night, falling into a peaceful, dreamless sleep. Waking in the morning, she would always find a cup of hot chocolate by her side or another layer of blankets pulled over her.

* * *

 

She had made it her mantra to not focus on the pains she faced in her life. How she missed her home from 10 years ago, her mother’s warm hugs, her kind words and soft fingers.

Eun Tak had kept it to herself all those years, how she worried about the insults her classmates threw at her, the cruel words of her aunt, the mistrusting glares of her teachers. She knew in her heart that what they thought wasn’t true, that she shouldn’t take them seriously.

It was just difficult sometimes to hold in the dam of longing and sadness. Crying quietly in the shower or her bed before she fell into unrestful sleep had been how she coped. There was no one to tell her it wasn’t true that she was ugly, that she would grow to be the scum of society, that she would always be trapped in her domestic and financial situation. No one told her she could rise above everything.

Now, it was even harder to hide the tears with the mask of a smile. Both Mr Reaper and Mr Kim would send her worried looks sometimes, eyes reflecting their knowledge gathered from who knows how many years of being a grim reaper and goblin.

Both of them knew to not touch her suddenly, to not raise their voice too loudly if she did something wrong in the household. With every tiny gesture, Eun Tak knew that they loved her.

She confirmed it from spying their late night conversations, either drunk or sober.

“I don’t know when or how but the Missing Soul has wiggled her way into my undead heart.”

“Ha! You fell for her charm and bubbliness, you are a softie!”

“You did too, you’re the one who suggested her to stay here instead of that dump she used to call home.”

“Heh. Did you know I gave her aunt and cousins some cursed gold? I’ll be receiving notification of their imprisonment for stealing gold bars from a bank in New York.” The both of them had burst into drunken laughter, genuinely pleased at the fact.

“You should’ve let me in on the plan!”

“How would you have done it then?”

“I dunno. That punishment is gold.” The reaper had slapped Shin’s shoulder, bending over laughing at his own attempt at a joke.

Honestly, the scene reminded Eun Tak of the dramas that showed overprotective (and embarrassing) parents boasting about how they had served vengeance to someone who had done injustice to their kids. She left the scene, feeling her heart thump loudly, more alive than it ever had been since her mother left her.

* * *

It was Halloween and neither of them usually celebrated it but Eun Tak, like her peers, had watched Western movies and TV shows, eager to join in the fun of candy and dressing up.

She had threatened them both, jokingly saying she would never pull out the sword if they didn’t dress up with her that night. Their reactions had been unexpected, indecision and doubt in their eyes.

Thus, she had backed up her threats by promising never to make the delicious rice cakes her mother had taught her. It was a family recipe, a secret she would never reveal.

Thus they had finally acquiesced, the reaper putting on cheap DIY goblin ears whilst the goblin buying an expensive stereotypical reaper’s outfit, equipped with a blade that glowed with red LED lights.

Even Deok Hwa had joined in on the fun, simply hoping to get in his uncle’s good books. Eun Tak had whined out loud, how she would be so disappointed if he didn’t join them, the two men in hearing distance.

In her cute yet grisly bunny costume, (the ears twisted unnaturally, her fluffy pink jumper splashed with fake blood), she joined the strange ensemble of a reaper, a goblin and an heir in a thrift store t shirt with “I am your student loan” printed in bold.

“There’s nothing more terrifying than debt and poverty.” Deok Hwa had explained.

That night the four of them stuffed themselves with candy, ignoring the reaper’s warnings of diabetes and the goblin’s whines that his ears weren’t that big.

* * *

 

The date of her finals was closing in and she found her body revolting against her, falling into a miserable cold. She had lain in her bed, sniffling, tissues strewn about unhygienically. Even blinking her eyes felt like a chore.

Mr Reaper had brought tray upon tray of his sad attempts at chicken soup, the goblin criticising him and taking over reluctantly after 3 failed attempts.

“You have to cut up the chicken you princess!”

“Meat is disgusting!”

“Well, you’re made up of it!”

“I don’t see you touching it.” At that, the reaper had brought the raw chicken towards Shin’s face, making him pale and sputter dramatically in fear of its blood.

Eun Tak had laughed at them when they resorted to the canned store-bought versions.

* * *

“This house is too big for just three people!” Eun Tak wiped the sweat off her brow with the back of her hand, back aching from mopping the floor.

“I’ll help. Let me.” The reaper had appeared next to her, another mop in hand.

“Gah! Can you not do that?”

“What areas have you cleaned?” He ignored her.

“Just the living room. The TV area’s next.”

“Mm.”

“By the way, it’s been on my mind for a long time. Why were you so nice to me all of a sudden when I first came here? It wasn’t as if I charmed you then with my personality as I have now.” She gave a playful wink.

“You’re the only one who can remove the goblin’s sword.” He replied bluntly as if it explained anything. He seemed more subdued after saying it though, concern wearing down on his shoulders.

“What do you mean?”

The reaper gave her a curious look before moving quietly to the other section of the living area. “Just mop the floor thoroughly.”

* * *

“Deok Hwa, do you know what happens when I pull out the sword from the goblin’s chest?”

“No, uncle has never told me about it. Why?”

“Just wondering.”

* * *

It was the weekend and she was holed up in her room with the history of the Korean War, her notes and essays strewn everywhere. It was tough to remember all the dates and events.

Her focus was interrupted by the knock of her door.

“You were tapping your foot so loudly I couldn’t sleep. What are you stuck on?” The goblin had sidled next to her with a chair in hand.

“I’m having a hard time remembering all this information for an upcoming quiz.”

“I’ll help.”

The goblin had added pyrotechnics to his extremely enthusiastic retelling of history. Eun Tak found herself acing the quiz, the memory of blue goblin fire laced to the soldier’s gunfire all those years ago.

* * *

Sometimes, the reaper would be the one to send her to school.

On those trips, she learnt more than her biology teacher ever taught.

During the pop quiz, his voice had echoed the workings of the heart, how bicuspid, tricuspid valves opened and closed. His recitation of how cardiac arrest occurred rang through her head.

She also knew about cancer, diabetes and other fatal illnesses. She never stopped listening though, they helped in getting full marks.

* * *

 

Under the coverage of night, she had heard the reaper and goblin crying in each other’s arms one night. It was a conversation about their pasts.

Eun Tak learnt about how Mr Kim could remember every death whist Mr Reaper agonised over the sins he committed but could not remember. They had held each other so tenderly she felt like an intruder. As the goblin leaned forward to kiss the reaper’s forehead, the reaper whispered for the other not to leave him.

Shin promised he wouldn’t and that he didn’t care who the reaper was in the past.

Eun Tak didn’t know why, but she felt like crying, guilt weighing down on her heart. From the tremors in their voices, the tone of their words alike when they spoke of her fondly, she knew, they were thinking about her.

* * *

 

Printing the photos for her scrapbook cost more than she had expected. She also found herself needing a few more exercise books for more practice.

With the need for more money, she had wandered through shop after shop, applying for a part time waitressing job. It was her luck that led to the Olive Chicken restaurant and her new cool boss.

Ms Sunny was her new idol and she would gush about her every time the goblin or reaper would ask about her work. They had verbally expressed relief at Eun Tak meeting another positive figure in her life, but their expressions reflected a slight jealousy directed at her boss.

It was unsurprising to find them tracking down her workplace address and dining in a restaurant they would usually steer away from.

What was surprising had been the reaper’s reaction to seeing her boss’s face, tears streaming down just as the goblin shook him gently out of his stupor.

* * *

Whenever she spoke about her day and her adventures, the two men’s faces would brighten up significantly, curiosity and interest in her stories.

“I took some of your juice boxes Mr Reaper and some of your beef jerky Mr Goblin. It was to help out this ghost with her empty refrigerator. She wanted her mom to feel relief that she had been eating well when she was alive.”

“Tell us before you do something like that next time.”

A small smile crept onto her features as she proceeded to tell them about the latest gossip the old ghost lady would whisper into her ear, the advice on flirting the younger one would give her. Sometimes, even stories about her new boss would enter the chat.

“Ms Sunny said that I should look for a man who’s nice to me and cares for me, not because of his looks, his hobbies or his wealth.”

“She’s right.”

The two had bickered about whether Eun Tak was of age to get a boyfriend. Eun Tak grinned, waving a pretend love note from her childhood sweetheart at their shocked faces. She giggled as she fled to her room and away from their distressed queries. 

* * *

“Who is Choi Tae Hee?”

Eun Tak groaned and shoved the two old men out of her room.

“You guys are more childish than I am. And you guys are true millennials.”

* * *

In whatever little way she could, she wanted to cheer up her parents. Guardians. Housemates. Whatever.

As Deok Hwa had observed, they were both indeed agonising over something.

Thus, she had enlisted the young heir’s help in setting up a dinner for two at a restaurant, away from their shenanigans.She had even dragged them to the florist in search of a bouquet of flowers and corsages.

Spying at the two of them with Deok Hwa by her side, she took sneaky pictures of the goblin and reaper slow dancing to the music in the empty restaurant. They also added selfies of themselves with the couple in the background.

“Mission success!”

“Hush! Or my smitten uncles will hear you!”

* * *

 

There were less nights where she cried for her mom, red scarf wrapped tightly around her neck. It had slipped her notice how she had less moments of despondency, the domesticity and care the inhabitants showered onto her becoming an everyday aspect of life she cherished.

Even if she did, the goblin and reaper had little to no trepidation in holding her hand or hugging her. They whispered words of comfort, their protectiveness clear from the steadiness of their voice.

For the first time in a while, she felt like she was more than what her classmates, her teachers, her blood relatives had told her.

She felt like she had been blessed with two guardians.

* * *

It wasn’t often she got to replenish or replace the clothes she had in her bedroom. Neither were the other two it seemed, holed up in the mansion as they were whenever they could.

She had begged for them to follow her to the mall, eager to use some of her hard earned money on getting warmer socks and better shoes for her aching feet. Running around waitressing wore down the heels a lot.

Eun Tak ended up helping them pick up new apparel; a scarf to keep the reaper’s pale face warm, fluffy ear muffs for the goblin’s big ears.

“You need those. Your ears are big so body heat escapes from them easily.”

Laughing at the goblin’s expense, the reaper grabbed her hand and ran, dashing through the aisles in escape of the goblin’s childish tantrum and game of catch. 

* * *

“We should go on a trip. To relax before your exams.”

It was a strange suggestion coming from the usually exhausted reaper. He worked at random hours, the when and how long variable to the higher ups in the GR hieararchy. Regardless, Eun Tak found herself on a beach in Honolulu, Hawaii, attempting to surf the waves.

Deok Hwa was sun bathing whilst the reaper napped under a beach umbrella. Shin had a water gun in his hands, the seawater reaching his knees. Aiming at the two men, still dry in their beach shorts, he squirted salty sea water unto them yelling.

“Come on you pussy cats! Let’s play a good round of in-water strike team! I’m with Eun Tak!”

That was how the four of them ran about in the water, squatting to dive under and avoid an attack. Caught in the moment, Eun Tak tripped on a large unseen rock, her pained gasp causing seawater to invade her lungs. A huge wave shoved her down, pulling her further away from shore even as she struggled. All she could see was the white foam from the wave’s crashing down onto her and the deep green of the depths as she fought against the might of the ocean. She wasn’t a swimmer and her feet felt no sand, her panicked heart beat dully in her ears.

She heard the muffled yell of her name just before she slipped into oblivion.

* * *

 Waking up in her room blearily, she felt her chest hurting, a small bruise at her sternum.

“Easy, easy.” The reaper helped her sit up before pressing a glass of water in her hands. She hadn’t realised the saltiness or dryness of her tongue.

“You were close to dying.” She hadn’t realised the goblin standing at the foot of her bed, arms crossed, back rigid. She had the sense to not say anything lest she provoked her concerned parent further.

“Go easy, she just went through a harrowing experience.”

The goblin had scrunched his brow, thinking hard about a memory, casting the reaper and Eun Tak a pained glance. He left the room, telling Eun Tak that he’d handle getting a believable emcee for school.

“Don’t worry about him, he’s just concerned. You gave us quite a fright.” The reaper had sat by her bedside, like he usually did whenever she found herself in an emotional pickle.

“Mr Reaper, if you don’t mind me asking, am I a burden to you and Mr Goblin?” It had been an itch in her mind for sometime, how she felt like she was a wedge between the two men she loved. She knew even before she moved in, there was something between them that she felt like she was intruding on, how her existence meant something terrible to them.

She didn’t want to be the reason her parents fought or cried. She remembers one night how the goblin had screamed at the deities, at the reaper, about how life was so unfair. How she had become unnecessary in God’s eyes, whatever that meant. The reaper had yelled back, how he didn’t want to choose between Shin and the Missing Soul.

The next day she had wept in Ms Kim’s arms, crying about how it was her fault they were like this, just like it was her fault her father and mother died too young. It was always her fault something terrible happened to her family, this was no different.

The reaper had hugged her tight, whispering with conviction.

“No, you are not and never will be.”

* * *

Opening the fridge for a late night studying snack, Eun Tak jumped when the reaper walked by her, hands holding a pot of herbal soup he was planning to boil through the night.

“You really shouldn’t snack so late. Nor be up so late. It’s bad for your health.”

It had been a slip of her tongue, to whine out, “But mooom, I have to study late and I’m hungryyyy. “ She had spent too much time watching movies and dramas.

She felt her face heat up just as the reaper froze in his steps.

“SORRY! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean anything by it!” She used her hands to shut herself up, preventing any more rubbish from escaping out of her mouth.

The reaper had a silly grin on his lips, a lightness in his steps that wasn’t there before.

“What are the both of you doing up so late?” A goblin with disheveled hair had dragged himself downstairs to see what the commotion was about.

“Missing soul called me mom.”

“Did she call me dad too?” He gave Eun Tak a dramatic pout.

“No.”

Eun Tak screamed as she fled to her room, snack forgotten.

* * *

 The next time a lame joke came out of Shin’s mouth, she had scolded him.

“Stop it with the dad jokes.” Eun Tak had blushed, red as a tomato. The reaper was giggling behind her.

“Mm.” The goblin had just scooped the both of them into a lazy hug, planting a sleepy kiss on both their foreheads.

She felt embarrassed at how her inner child squealed in joy while outwardly she whispered. “Holy shit. I’ve been officially adopted.”

* * *

When she relayed the fact to her boss, one of the only female confidants she had besides the ghosts, Ms Kim had asked whether she could meet her newfound parents properly, slight distrust in her eyes after having met Eun Tak’s aunt. Ms Kim was being overly suspicious so to quell her doubts they had agreed to meet in the restaurant together for dinner, her boss was treating.

The meeting was awkward. It felt like a parent-teacher conference she had never had the opportunity to experience. The tension between Mr Goblin and Ms Kim being especially palpable.

“What do you two work as exactly?”

“What reason do I have to tell you?”

“Firstly, you’re my part timer’s claimed ‘parent’. Secondly, that tone of yours gives me the right to not give more reason than that.”

“Your attitude makes it no wonder why Eun Tak always has sore feet when she comes home. You must be a slave driver.”

Ms Kim’s eye twitched. Eun Tak felt dread sink into her bones. Time to defuse a bomb that had a hundred colourful wires.

“Ms Kim, pardon him, he’s always like that.”

“Ji Eun Tak!”

Ms Kim had sighed, reaching over to pat the reaper’s hands in comfort.

“I’m afraid you have bad taste in men. Such a shame for a handsome face like yours.” It was an insult directed at the Goblin, no true harm intended.

The reaper had forgotten however, about the abilities he had told Eun Tak about, falling off his chair with a gasp. 

* * *

 

“I think she may have been your sister.”

The goblin’s glass had crashed into the ground, hands trembling.

Eun Tak felt in her heart, as the clock ticked closer to the new year, that something bad was about to happen.

* * *

“Get out. Can’t you see we’re busy?”

“You’re busy because I’m here. I bring wealth and prosperity.”

“What are you? A leprechaun?” Shin had scowled at the insult, he didn’t play with four leaf clovers and slide down rainbow slides in green tights!

When Ms Kim visited their mansion, Eun Tak and her new ‘mom’ had left them to talk. She noted the thoughtful expression on the reaper’s face, the way his shoulders slumped slightly.

“What’s wrong?”

The reaper had shared his doubts with her, even if his heart told him not to. He was a part of the two sibling’s story. What role exactly he played, he did not know. Eun Tak worried, there was still so much she didn’t know either.

* * *

 

The minute before the clock struck twelve, the five of them were huddled in a crowd, joining the swarm of bodies waiting for the fireworks show.

Deok Hwa was grumbling at the people who pushed and shoved with drinks in their hands, threatening his custom-tailored suit. The goblin and herself had formed a barrier between the sea of people and the reaper. Sunny was by her side, readying her phone camera for the show. She had agreed to come, simply because she wanted to accompany the only girl in the group.

As the clock tower chimed, the fireworks lit up the skies. All Eun Tak could see however, was the bright white light coming straight at her. 

* * *

 

  
She woke up to the beeping of machines and the smell of saline. The thin blanket was stiff with starch, covering her chest down. One side of her shoulder ached, her neck twinged with pain as she tried to move.

“You’re finally awake part timer.” Ms Kim’s concerned face came into her view, tear ducts glistening with unshed tears.

“Eun Tak!” The call of her name made her realise that Deok Hwa and his uncles, her parents, were there too.

What happened? Why did her shoulder hurt so bad? She wanted to know, to speak her mind as it raced with questions.

“Here, suck on some ice. It’lll help with your dry throat.” Deok Hwa pressed to her lips a small cube, easing her throat enough to croak out an experimental thanks.

“What happened?”

“There was an accident with the fireworks. One of them tipped over after being lit and it flew towards you. He managed to shove you away in time to avoid more serious burns.” The goblin had explained, anxiety lacing his words, trembling fingers pointing at the reaper. The reaper’s suit was slightly charred and he appeared fine, except for his eyes dark with worry.

The skin at her shoulder had been burnt, fortunately it had been non life threatening. It had been a close call on her life though, the scars were there to remind her.

When she was finally discharged from the hospital, she had confronted the two supernatural beings, both of their postures weighed down with some unknown burden. No longer. She felt her patience at its end, her need to know overwhelming.

“Will you two please explain to me why I keep getting into these situations?”

First it had been a kidnapping. Second, her almost drowning, Third, it was this. She shivered, biting her lower lip.

“I’m scared. I’m so so so scared. Please don’t lie to me. Please don't hide things from me.” She felt her heart crumbling to pieces, she didn’t want to die, she didn’t want secrets between them, she didn’t want anything to force her to leave the home she had always wished for and finally been granted.

The two men had held her tight as she sobbed into their coats.

* * *

 

She couldn’t breathe.

It was too much to bear.

She was the goblin’s bride. She was the only one capable of pulling out the sword and killing the goblin.

And she had to, if she wanted to live.

_She was just starting to feel like she was._

She felt like a knife was being shoved into her hands with instructions to either kill herself or her parents.

What parent wanted their child to die before them? Definitely not hers.

She didn’t know what to do. She doesn’t want to die. She doesn’t want the goblin to die. She doesn’t want the reaper to live alone ever again.

She didn’t want any of it.

Eun Tak could only weep into her bed, pushing her family out of her room. She held herself, curled up on the mattress, she had to be alone, just like all those years ago. Whether she wanted it or not. She had to make a choice.

* * *

 

The days after the incident were hard for her but she played up the facade of cheerfulness.

She was good at that.

Her exams were soon arriving and she poured all her attention to it and not the ridiculous number of safety precautions she was forced to take.

She had to look left and right five times before crossing a street. She had to listen for any strange noises whenever she used an electrical appliance. She had to check for any rotting tree branches whenever she strolled in the icy parks.

She lived a life of paranoia, not unlike her times with her aunt and cousins, fearful of when she would next be the victim of a brutal beating. She slapped herself mentally, cursing herself for binge watching Final Destination when she had the chance.

The goblin and grim reaper could do nothing, trailing her sometimes to make sure nothing happened.

It was suffocating.

She blamed herself. She felt like the children with mental developmental problems or disabilities too d, the cause for their parent’s divorce. The falling snow gathered atop her hair as she wept in the cold, how she should’ve never found a new family only to curse it with her existence. 

* * *

 

“Part-timer, take the week off. Your exams are around the corner and you’ve gone through so much lately.”

“Thank you, boss.”

It had not helped her heart to find a phantasmic wraith standing by the restaurant entrance, grey hair disheveled and tongue black as tar.

“Hello sister of the traitor and his lovely bride. It seems I have been most fortunate to have both of you here to drag into hell.”

“Grab my lighter, quick!”

“What? Why?”

“Just do it!”

It had been a stroke of luck to have survived the fourth attempt on her life. What Eun Tak hadn’t known was why the goblin had pulled her into his embrace and fled to one of his guesthouses in the States.

“What about-”

“Don’t say his name.”

She let her tears fall whilst she penned the answer to a question on the failure of family during her literature exam. Kokoro by Natsume Soseki talked about how families broke apart because of time. It was natural, it was fate, for family to crumble and poison itself.

“The fates of those around me also seemed to be slowly turning through the great karmic wheel.” - Natsume Soseki, Kokoro.

* * *

The reaper was Wang Yeo, Shin had every reason to hate him but he could not. Not after falling tragically into a cursed love. There was still the issue that was _her_.

A cursed family.

Eun Tak wailed, she could not, would not be the small stone that fell the giant, the straw that broke the camel’s back.

She would not be defined by a title passed down to her by the divinity.

Her purpose in life, though it had been short, was definitely not becoming a murderer.

She swore, she would find it. She would rise above it, she could.

It had been the lesson, faith and love her parents had bestowed upon her.

Her life was her own and she thought it was a worthwhile sacrifice, the sword driving through her chest, the blood bubbling up her throat and through her nose.

She apologised, amidst the screams of the phantom whom had possessed her right before she ran into the blade, dragging them both to the destination called death. As the goblin and the reaper held her limp body, their tears falling on her cooling skin as she whispered sorrys. Sorry for leaving them behind, sorry for hurting them, sorry for causing them nothing but anxiety.

What she wasn’t sorry for was her choice. It was hers.

In the tea house she explained herself, how a child only grew up when they broke against their parent’s wishes and made their own decisions. There was always one point of time where the parent had to let go of their children.

She wished once more, to return to her family. They would wait for her, patiently. Every child would return grown.

* * *

Her second life, she started anew, a clean slate. A new avatar with no memory of the past.

She lived it to her fullest, finding love, having children, success in her new cafe. Through it all, her parents of a past life continued filling her scrapbook from 30 years ago, as if she never pierced her stomach with a blade bedewed with too much blood.

Her third life, she was a doctor specialised in cancers. Making a difference to patients that mostly died almost after treatment. The scrapbook was filled with photos of an exhausted but fulfilled young lady. The eyes that admired the pages upon pages of photos of this iron-willed lady reflected only pride and elation.

Her fourth life, she spent it as a traveller, learning about the world’s sights, scents and sounds. She felt the bone aching chill from being on top of Mt Everest, atop of the world.

When she stepped into a tea room filled with old teapots and teacups, she wore one of her brightest smiles. She was grown even though her first life had been doomed.

“Hi dads.”

She hugged them tight before pulling them both with the strength she had gained from her past lives, up the stairs and into the light.

The wait had been long, but the reunion would last for eternity.

 

-end-

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!
> 
> Watch out for an edited version. I might edit this for more Eun Tak goodness and less Shin/Yeo cuz i may have made them overshadow her by accident. 
> 
> *flails


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